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There were forgettable ones too, like the alcoholic art dealer, or the guy who excused himself in the middle of sex to smoke a cigarette.

And there have been multiple-partner dates, which involved average-looking East Bay residents who swing, tie up, dominate, submit, and spank. Some of the lovemaking was wonderful, a lot of it was initially awkward but got better as time went on, and some of it was downright disastrous.

Besides all the rules that sensible people follow when dating online, like "meet in a public place," "let someone know where you are," and "condoms are non-negotiable," we developed our own special list for middle-aged chicks who date on Craigslist:1) A lot of men want to screw Sarah Silverman.

(Three lovers told Lily the potty-mouthed comedian was their "fantasy fuck.")2) With ads for people over forty, add at least five years and ten pounds to the photo.

It was a virtually sexless union for 10 years before a therapist helped her come to her senses and move on.

Lily never married and spent most of her life caring for an ill parent who died recently.

She had read books on women's sexuality -- Barbach, Tisdale, Jong, Hite and Nin -- but each held only a small piece of the puzzle.

Not one of these authors could tell her as much about sexuality as her own inner life did.

"I don't have a boyfriend," she says, "I have a team roster."Lily and Anna are not our real names, but then you probably knew that was coming.

It takes a woman about a thousand words and a condom to get laid on Craigslist.

But for a woman to be laid properly -- by a passionate lover who knows what he's doing -- well, that's a whole different ball game.

But when it works -- and it has -- there is the sheer joy of exploring sexuality without any strings attached.

And sometimes a woman can find a treasured friend with benefits, an outright boyfriend -- or the love of her life.

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